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Galentines Day 2021: Celebrate Together, Apart

Galentines Day 2021: Celebrate Together, Apart

If there ever was a year we needed this holiday, it’s this one.  So I hope you embrace Galentines Day 2021. Yet conditions in many places still make it too-soon to plan in person gatherings like a typical Galentines Day celebration.

So it’s time to rethink this soul-feeding, girl-time celebration for our physically-distant world.  Here are some ideas to rethink this much-needed celebration for our current times – and maybe even find some silver linings in it.  

How to Plan Galentines Day 2021:

Choose a Date

The official date is February 13, which is conveniently a Saturday in 2021, but you can choose any day- or time – that works for you.  For once you can include friends from other parts of the country- or world – so consider that when you choose the time.

Deliver Some Treats

If your gals are local, then it’s time for a late-winter porch drop.  If your crew is more far-flung, then pop them in the mail.  Or maybe you’ll need some of both. Either way, here are some ideas to take care of your gals – both near and far.

Galentines Day 2021 in a Box, Porch Drop Style:  If you are hand-delivering, you have a little more flexibility with what you share.  You can include any or all of the following – or create your own festive collection:

  • A sparkling-single serve beverage – with or without alcohol – like a split of sparkling wine, a can of wine, beer, or cider, or a fizzy beverage like Izze or LaCroix
  • A sweet treat – or two – something chocolate, like a bouchon, or maybe a pink-tinted meringue. Or a festively-shaped, tinted marshmallow.
  • A festive decoration or outfit addition – a balloon, a garland – or a springy heart headband
  • A thoughtful favor – maybe a small, scented lotion or candle, or a pair of earrings – (affiliate link) like these leather and cork designs
  • A set of Color Street – it can be Valentine’s 2021 collection set, or any fun, sparkly option that suits the recipient
Galentines Day 2021: Celebrate Together, Apart

Galentines Day 2021, in the Mail:  If you are mailing your celebratory packages, then you need to think about weight, fragility, and perishability.  But you can still send a thoughtful gift:

  • A coffee gift card (or e-gift card) – bonus if it’s for a place local to the recipient so they can #ShopSmall. Or you can easily mail Cusa tea or coffee (affiliate link) – so many flavors and types to choose from.
  • A sturdy, sweet treat – brownies and other bar cookies tend to hold up well and are just as delicious with a 10 second turn in the microwave (and a scoop of ice cream!). Or go with a lightweight, yet not-so-fragile treat and mix up some marshmallows. If you have never made homemade marshmallows, now is the time to break out your stand mixer and try!
  • A flat decoration – like a folding garland, an not-yet-inflated balloon, or a paper crown
  • A travel-friendly favor – since these friends are out-of-town, consider something that can be used when you reconnect (hopefully soon!), like a luggage tag, or a sheet face mask to rehydrate, or travel soap sheets
  • A set of Color Street – you can’t mail a bottle of nail polish easily, but you can definitely mail a set – or two – of Color Street
heart marshmallows

Chocolate-Dipped Heart Marshmallows

Inspired by Molly Wizenberg, A Homemade Life, and theflavorbender.com
Print Recipe Pin Recipe
Prep Time 10 mins
Cook Time 20 mins
Resting Time 8 hrs
Course Dessert
Cuisine American
Servings 20

Equipment

  • Stand Mixer with Whisk Attachment
  • 9×13 Glass Baking Dish
  • Cookie cutters, 1 1/2 inch hearts, or as desired

Ingredients
  

  • Nonstick vegetable oil spray
  • 1 cup cold water divided
  • 7 tsp unflavored gelatin from 3 envelopes
  • 2 cups sugar
  • 1/2 cup agave syrup
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • several drops gel food coloring red or pink
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 1/2 cup cornstarch or arrowroot starch
  • 1/2 cup powdered sugar
  • 1/4 pound dark chocolate
  • 1/2 Tablespoon coconut oil

Instructions
 

  • Spray a 9×13 glass baking dish with cooking spray and dust with powdered sugar.
  • Pour 1/2 cup cold water into bowl of heavy-duty mixer fitted with whisk attachment. Gently stir in gelatin and allow to sit for 15 minutes.
  • Combine sugar, agave, salt, and remaining 1/2 cup cold water in heavy medium saucepan.
  • Cover saucepan and turn heat to medium-high. Simmer, covered for a few minutes to allow the condensation to drip down the sides of the pan, dissolving any crystals.
  • Remove the lid, and clip a candy thermometer to the side of the pan. Raise heat and bring syrup to a boil. Watch carefully, without stirring, until syrup reaches 240 degrees (about 8 minutes).
  • With mixer running at low speed, slowly pour hot syrup into gelatin mixture in thin stream down side of bowl (avoid pouring syrup onto whisk, as it may splash). Gradually increase speed to high and beat until mixture is very thick and stiff, about 15 minutes.
  • Add food color to desired shade, mixing in between additions. Add vanilla and beat to blend, about 30 seconds longer.
  • Scrape marshmallow mixture into prepared pan. Smooth top with wet fingers. Let stand uncovered at room temperature until firm, about 6 hours.
  • Stir cornstarch and powdered sugar in small bowl to blend. Sprinkle over top of the marshmallows, and onto work surface.
  • Turn marshmallow slab out onto work surface and sprinkle more starch-sugar mixture over marshmallow slab.
  • Coat cookie cutters with nonstick spray. Cut marshmallows into squares or other shapes. Toss each in remaining starch-sugar mixture to coat.
  • Melt chocolate and coconut on low in a microwave-safe bowl, stirring frequently, until fully melted. Dip the bottom of each marshmallow in the melted chocolate, allowing excess to drip into bowl.
  • If desired, press into sprinkles or chopped candy canes or other toppings. Place chocolate side up on silicone baking mat or parchment paper-lined tray. Allow to dry completely, about 2 hours, before stacking or storing.

Notes

Store in an air-tight container. Dipped or undipped marshmallows may be frozen for several weeks.
Keyword celebrations, sweet treats

Celebrate Galentines Day 2021!

If we have learned little else in the past eleven months, I hope we have learned to appreciate time together with family and friends.  Jump on a platform of your choosing – if your group is small, then Facetime or Facebook Messenger is great.  For larger groups, you’ll need Zoom, WebEx or Teams.  

Related Posts:

Valentine’s Day Without Candy: 4 Simple Ways to Celebrate Without (Eating) Candy

How to Refresh Your St Patricks Day Dinner

Refresh Yourself: Recipes 0

Surviving High School 2020 Edition

Surviving High School 2020 Edition

Are you surviving high school 2020?

Pre-2020, I usually described my job in public education like this: “I enjoy helping students find a pathway that fulfills them – and it’s never boring, never the same thing twice.”  

While those sentiments still ring true, more recently I’ve been telling people that my job is “herding invisible cats.”  I have a sense that students are out there, and that some of my actions are supporting them, but in the fuzziness of distance learning, it is very challenging to know.  (This author speaks to the tendency to focus on “ghosts,” which is a helpful way to prioritize.)

This is my 27th year in high school.  Four years figuring it out myself. And 23 more helping other people’s kids navigate it.  Year 27.  And year 1.  Year 1 of parenting a high school student- in a pandemic, no less- which means his high school experience is not unfolding in the next town over from my office, but in the next room.  And year 1 of trying to support other peoples’ kids in this crazy as well.  

Time to Reflect: Surviving High School 2020

2020 has turned out to be a year of deep introspection and reflection for us as individuals, and as a society.  And though I’ve spent well over half my life in high school, I don’t reflect on my own high school experience as much as I might.  Do you? 

I am grateful to still be friends with a handful of my closest friends from high school.  

The ones I stayed up all night with at slumber parties (often, embarrassingly, trying to crimp our hair).  The ones I coordinated matching outfits with for school dances.  The ones I practiced with for elaborate dance performances. And the ones I drove to late night restaurants with at a time when 16-year-olds could drive other sixteen-year-olds.  

I recently asked them: what do YOU remember from high school?  

(We were all “good students,” but I am the only one in education.  The others have had some separation from this world we all live in.)  

Ask yourself the same question:  What do YOU remember from high school?  Do you remember your teachers or the subject? The person or the content?

It’s the “who” not the “what.”

I have fleeting memories of classes.  Mental snapshots of school events.  And absolutely zero recollection of any of the day to day workings of a school- assemblies, announcements, standardized testing – (all things I have spent WAY too much of my career planning, organizing, and preparing for.)  

Similarly, it’s the “why” not the “where.”

I have been in a lot of schools.  I have attended schools in snowy suburban Wisconsin and the sprawling outdoor campuses in the Silicon Valley.  I have volunteered in schools in historic buildings in Washington DC, and in air conditioned boxes in Texas.  I have taught in stuffy classrooms in Houston and in hard-to-warm spaces in San Jose.  

Schools are not about the buildings, except when they are at the very bottom rungs of disrepair.  As an extension of my initial work with Teach for America I have toured countless classrooms in under-resourced districts.  There is a “floor” (pardon the pun) of basic construction – a sound roof and structure, a functioning HVAC system, sufficient seating – but once that is met, everything else is bells and whistles.  

And no one remembers it.  If you have a clear memory of a school or classroom, it probably has to do with why you were there.  The teacher who hosted your club in their room.  The locker room where a storied coach gave pep talks. Or the space that housed your chosen activities- the band room, the green room, the computer lab.  Because it’s the why not the where.  

Surviving High School 2020 Edition

And it’s the “how” not the “when”.  

I have worked with thousands of ninth graders.  Many of them- and their families- seem to think there is some sort of map or user’s guide to high school that my colleagues and I are hiding from them.  So what’s the secret to high school? After all, after 27 years shouldn’t I have THE answer?  Hint: There is more than one right answer.  

There is more than one time to take that class. There is more than one club to join that will bring fulfillment.  There is more than one sport that will keep you active.  And there is more than one year to try again.  And if we don’t allow teens to make -and recover from- a few mistakes in high school we are failing our kids.  Let that sink in.  By keeping your kid from failing, you are failing them.  Why? Because setbacks are how you learn.

When teachers teach students first, material second, kids learn more, and remember more.  And that simple reality is why I feel so strongly about social-emotional learning.  And for teachers who *think* they don’t have time for this, news flash: you are either actually already doing this in your own way – you just need to give yourself credit where credit is due.  

Recently our district hosted a student panel for them to share their thoughts on our first full semester in distance learning. In case you don’t have the opportunity to get this kind of feedback: they appreciate the connections you are forging – and they want more – so keep it up.

Here are some quick ideas to help you in surviving high school 2020:

  • Share your pets, your kids, your custom Zoom background – anything personal – with your students (and encourage them to share back).
  • Do a welcome back check in with each student – put them in break out rooms and check in.  (This may take more than one class period, but the effects will be lasting.)
  • Make a class playlist of song requests and play one (or more) at the beginning of each class.  
  • Start each class with a fun Question of the Day for everyone to answer – even you!
  • Use a structured activity in a break-out room to allow kids to connect. 

Teach the student, and the curriculum will follow.  Because if you haven’t connected with the student, then, as you well know, you are only “teaching” a bunch of blank Zoom squares.  And none of us signed up to do that…

Related Posts:

Distance Learning Educators: Why Your Kids’ Teachers are Falling Apart Right Now

Compassion Fatigue Resources for Educators

Refresh Your Life: Lifestyle

Person of Color: Being In Between

Like many of you, I have spent much of 2020 grappling with Big Questions. What does it mean to be a person of color? Who and what is most important to me? How do I acknowledge my strengths – and my privilege? And how do I use it to help make the world a better place? I am doing this from a place of in-between. I am American, and not. I am White, and not. I belong, and I don’t.

Person of Color: Being In Between

Two Worlds

And I appreciate how this type of duality was framed in a recent conversation between researcher and author Brene Brown and former President Barack Obama on the Dare to Lead podcast: this type of paradox can be transformative.

In terms of age, Barack Obama is my contemporary. Which means neither one of us – like so many others of mixed heritage and cultural identity – had few role models; there were simply fewer people who had walked this path before us. Fewer examples in public life – or in our schools.

This straddling of worlds is also highlighted in Brit Bennett’s compelling historical novel, The Vanishing Half. The author’s riveting story explores the “what if” that exists for so many of us with multi-cultural identities.

Indian culture – even outside the borders of India – can be insular. Steeped in generations-old traditions, it can be hard to navigate the social order, to connect across the invisible – yet tenacious – lines of Caste that Isabel Wilkerson outlines so clearly in her book.

Self-Reflection

In my day-to-day life, I have encountered relatively few people in my generation who are half White, half of Indian descent.  I have two sisters with parallel genetics, and three first cousins, all male, who have similar parentage. But as a child, the bulk of your waking hours are spent in school.

Growing up in what is now the backyard of Google, Facebook, and half the tech industry, it seems difficult to believe that I was typically the only person of Indian descent in my entire grade – sometimes my sister and I the only ones in the entire school. In junior high, there was a brief moment when a girl with similar heritage was in my class, but she soon moved away. It wasn’t until college that I had a sustained friendship with someone with a similar ethnic background, and to whom I was not related.

Ola Caracola reflects on race in this well-written piece on Medium. At one point, she reflects on the admittedly mundane issue of the color of bandaids. For me as a young dancer, it was the color of ballet tights that didn’t quite fit. The accepted – often prescribed – color of tights was a pink, that not unlike the bandaids, while it wasn’t really the exact color of any human, it also clearly wasn’t the color of me.

Being “In Between” in School

Having spent my life in public schools, we talk a lot about kids learning from “someone who looks like them.”  And the data supports that not just Black students, but ALL students learn better from Black teachers. But what does this mean for kids of mixed heritage? How do kids who are in between see themselves in educators who may or not reflect this duality?

In the generation of my children there are many more, of course, but it means that few of THOSE children will have the opportunity to encounter, much less than learn from, an educator with a parallel shared experience. So in the absence of the sameness, you gravitate toward the shared different-ness. My closest friends come in all shapes and sizes, some share my European-American heritage, others, my Indian heritage, others, neither.

A New Era

Now a person with Indian heritage will be in a position of national leadership (the “pressure” of which was not lost on the unbelievably spot-on meme-makers of 2020, like this one from Anand Giridharadas: “I told you you should have studied vice presidenting in college, but you only wanted to do engineering” – Indian-American parents right now.).

Kamala Harris claims her Blackness, as well she should, a proud graduate of Howard University. But as her memoir attests, she was raised so influentially by her mother, a sari-clad Indian doctor. And those of us who share being the legacy of interracial, intercultural unions appreciate her duality in the way it helps to further illuminate a pathway forward for our dual selves.

At many times in my life, I have felt like a chameleon.  Sometimes, I have the privilege of being a fly on the wall, blending in seamlessly.  At other times, I stick out like a sore thumb, painfully obvious in my other-ness.  

Growing up, I didn’t feel Indian and I didn’t look White. It was a conundrum that I grappled with through most of my school career.

Person of Color: Being In Between

Being Both, Being Neither

I am the child of an immigrant, but don’t share his accent. I am the child of blond, blue-eyed California girl who graduated from Berkeley in the 60s, but don’t share that seamless assimilation.

My multicultural name trips up your tongue, my ambiguous complexion furrows your eyebrow, but birth certificate asserts my belonging in this so-called melting pot.

I have experienced relative lack of economic privilege, growing up with a chronically under-employed father, my mother taking a job she didn’t really want to provide for our family.  I have experienced this lack of economic privilege while knowing that there was a wide, deep safety net, in the form of my White grandparents and their assets, which would mean that if our family “fell,” it wouldn’t be far.  

I am searched and scrutinized going through airport security, yet I breeze through immigration with my unaccented English and navy passport, accompanied by my red-headed husband.  

I have traveled widely, and I am always assumed to be a local:  in Asia, in Europe, in Polynesia.  I am privileged that I do not choose my travel itineraries based on how I might be received at my destination, I am not limited by others’ preconceived notions of me.  In the US,  I am often assumed to be Latinx, but I am a Spanish-learner (who can also get by in French, on a good day!).  

In college, in Houston, I was embraced by my fellow students with families from the Indian subcontinent, but I started from scratch – with little prior knowledge of Indian languages, culture, history or even food.

I started teaching in a school that had maybe twenty-five White students in a student body of 2,400; I was an educated brown-skinned person at the front of my classroom.  That district was remarkably under-resourced, a reality that I had been shielded from in my suburban upbringing; I was an educator from a privileged background who had trouble processing the extreme inequities between my own childhood classrooms and the ones in which I was teaching.  

Related Posts:

Lessons Learned from 2020

Food Memories: Moving Forward Samosas

Refresh Your Life: Lifestyle

Surviving 2020 Education: Silver Linings for Educators

Surviving 2020 Education: Silver Linings for Educators

Surviving 2020 Education: It’s Challenging

It’s no secret that our current health crisis flung education into a tailspin – unsteadying most of the foundations of our schools as we have known them.  As we have separated education from school buildings, we have lost our bearings.  But as we find our sea legs in the ocean of distance learning, hybrid schooling, and pandemic education, it is clear that there are some silver linings in education.  

Your work is being seen – literally – in a new way

As everyone has been focused on surviving 2020, there has been an awakening regarding the amount and type of work we do in the helping professions – and for work in other essential fields:  grocery, pharmacy, plumbing, and electrical.  Yes, it is incredibly challenging to Zoom into someone’s living room to teach, but it also seems to have increased parents’ appreciation for your coursework.  And if you are a brave soul in a hybrid or other in-person classroom, know that you are SO appreciated for the work you are doing to keep our youngest and most vulnerable learners on a forward trajectory.  

You can learn from the best

At the end of 2020, basically every educator you know should be given an honorary degree – including you, not only for surviving 2020 education, but for learning while you were at it.  Though I am grateful to have attended years of graduate school before I had my own children, I felt like I was back at it again in 2020.  The good news is that the best of the best have been providing online professional development to educators, a great deal of it free of charge.  The bad news is you can’t possibly watch all of it.  

At some point this summer, (yes, summer – there was no real break in 2020), I resorted to watching my backlog of recorded webinars on double speed on YouTube to try to get as much as possible from as many positive sources.  Because what the multiplying crises that are 2020 have revealed to us is a need for a foundational social-emotional learning program for ALL our children.  

Your new understanding of technology will serve you well

And while social-emotional learning will continue to be the most necessary curriculum as we navigate through the next few years of education, it is also clear that the use of technology in instruction has become an essential component of surviving 2020 education.  There is no turning back now.  You may not keep everything, but you will keep what serves you well.  

For some this will be grading online – no more grubby papers (which were questionable to touch even in a pre-COVID world).  For others, it will be recording their content – for students to watch over and over again – and using class time to answer questions and work together.  Or maybe it will simply be using PearDeck or NearPod to track students’ understanding in real time- even after they are back in your classroom.  (And I know that more than a few of us will miss the mute button!)

Surviving 2020 Education: Silver Linings for Educators

You are still connecting to students and families

You may not know how tall they all are, or if they wear flip flops year-round, but you are meeting, and relating to kids who you didn’t know a year ago.  And you may even be meeting MORE parents and families than you did before, as parents call in on their lunch hours, or squeeze into the Zoom screen with their child.  (And if you hit the wrong button and wind up ending the meeting rather than closing the breakout rooms, well, in 2020 that’s consider relatable:  congratulations!)

You can help your students chart a new course

After all these “unprecedented times” we are living through, surviving 2020 education, we will eventually emerge into a new world – Sonia Renee Taylor’s “new garment,” “one that fits all of humanity and nature.”  We have a rare opportunity to help chart a course not only for ourselves and our students, but for our profession as a whole.  

Related Posts:

Distance Learning Educators: Why Your Kids’ Teachers are Falling Apart Right Now

2020 Silver Linings in Education for Students and Families

Autism Silver Linings: Lessons Learned in 2020 via the Piece Of Mind Retreat

Refresh Your Life: Lifestyle

Trader Joe’s Holiday Items: Your New Favorites

Trader Joe’s Holiday Items: Your New Favorites

It’s a hard call which is my more favorite month to shop at Trader Joe’s – October, the height of my fall favorites, or December, when the holiday items are in stock in full force.  Let’s call it a tie.  There are SO many Trader Joe’s holiday items that I can’t possibly cover them all.  If you aren’t already a listener, I highly recommend checking out the (Inside) Trader Joe’s podcast for more tips and recommendations from Trader Joe’s staff directly.  

Trader Joe’s Holiday Items: Mint Chocolate Magic

Dark Chocolate Minty Marshmallows

Moist, springy marshmallows with a hint of mint, doused in dark chocolate- what’s not to love about that?  Pop in hot chocolate – or directly in your mouth – for a not-too-heavy treat.  

Mini Dark Chocolate Mint Stars

These petite treats have a nice snap to the cookie, with a touch a mint, a coating of dark chocolate and a few sprinkles for good measure.  Their small size means you get to eat more in a single serving – also a reason to celebrate.  

Dark Chocolate Covered Peppermint Cremes

A refreshing mint patty, covered in dark chocolate (is there really any other kind of chocolate?) with some crushed candy cane on top for a bit of crunch.  A perfect after dinner treat.  

Candy Cane Joe-Joe’s

A seasonal minty twist on Trader Joe’s take on the classic chocolate sandwich cookie.  A solid choice for remote-learning lunches, especially good with a glass of milk.  

Chocolate Covered Peppermint Joe Joe’s

To say these were inhaled is a bit of an understatement.  They all but vanished in one sitting.  Candy Cane Joe Joe’s are already a favorite in their own right, then they are dunked in chocolate, and topped with crushed candy cane bits.  Chocolate mint perfection.  

Mini Peppermint Meringues

For something a little lighter (and gluten- and dairy-free), try these crisp, mint meringues.  You can pop one or two in your mouth for a quick sweet treat, or you can crush them and layer them with whipped cream for a seasonal twist on an Eton Mess.  

Peppermint Mini Marshmallows

Looking for a little something to perk up your hot cocoa?  Look no further than these peppermint mini marshmallows.  Next up? Swapping them in for regular marshmallows in a favorite cookie recipe.  

Peppermint Pretzel Slims

These sweet-meets-salty treats are a balanced bite- great for a mid-afternoon pick-me-up. Tasty, even though I don’t normally love white chocolate.

Trader Joe’s Holiday Items: Your New Favorites

Trader Joe’s Holiday Items: More than Mint

Dark Chocolate Sea Salt Caramels

Rich caramel covered in dark chocolate with a pinch of sea salt is a year-round favorite.  What makes this particular time of year special is that you can get a box of four of these sweet treats with a special slot for a gift card on the front.  This is now our go-to gift for Mr. Diggy’s entire therapy team – and one that we know is appreciated!

Scandinavian Tidings Soft and Chewy Gummy Candy

My part-Swedish husband LOVES these Scandinavian-style treats in all their various shapes and flavors.  The holiday version is no exception (though he does tend to pick out the red ones!).  

Stroopwafel Dutch Caramel Waffle Cookies

After years without a stroopwafel crossing my lips, we encountered them as a single-serve, shelf-stable snack on the only flights we took in 2020.  Trader Joe’s lets you bring a small canister of these treats home – no reservation required.  

Double Chocolate Hot Cocoa Stirring Spoon with Mini Marshmallows

A fun, tasty, single-serve way to make hot chocolate this winter.  Just heat up your preferred type of milk until steaming and stir this chocolate-and-marshmallow-coated spoon into your mug.  You’re welcome.  

Butter Toffee Pretzels

These are like a warm holiday hug – in pretzel form.  Irresistible caramelized butter and sugar combined with just enough salt from the pretzel makes these an excellent anytime treat.   

Italian Mushroom and Black Truffle Sauce

The aroma of truffles is unmistakable from the moment you open the jar.  Stirred into pasta it makes a great change of pace from a marinara or pesto.  

Felted Wool Trivet

Last year, the holiday offering was a felted garland.  That got a lot of love in our autism family, but it also was destroyed rather quickly.  This trivet is useful on the table, and also a fun, durable item to run around the house with (which is a real, yet hard to find, #autismmom consideration!)

Trader Joe’s Holiday Items: Seasonal Sips

Sugar Plum Sparkling Beverage

More tart than sweet, this sparkling non-alcoholic beverage pairs well with food.  A “rosé” alternative for your next festive toast.  

Trader Joe’s Platinum Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon Yountville Napa Valley 2018

The (Inside) Trader Joe’s podcast will let you in on the little not-so-secret that Platinum Reserve labels typically mean you are getting a wine that is valued at 3 times the price you pay.  So when I saw a stash of Platinum Reserve cabernet, I snagged one.  I split a bottle with a couple of wine-enthusiast friends while sitting 15 apart: thumbs up all around.  

Cecilia Beretta’s Cecilia B Vina Spumante Rose

This was the bottle we opened for our tiny, outdoor Thanksgiving meal.  I always prefer sparkling wine with food- even more so with a decadent holiday meal.  This was a pleasant bubbly- not too sweet, not too dry.  I will be grabbing another bottle – or two.  

Related Posts:

20 Top Trader Joe’s Picks

5 Holiday Food Traditions: Simple and Special

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How to Beat the Winter Blues: 5 Ways to Stay Sane While Staying In

How to Beat the Winter Blues: 5 Ways to Stay Sane While Staying In

How do you beat the winter blues in a tough year?  

As we careen through the final month of this unprecedented year, we have endured nearly nine months of a global health crisis, much of it in the undesirable position of “leader” in terms of infection rates and deaths.  It is clear that this health pandemic has brought into stark relief the deep, systemic inequities in our society – realities that 2020 has no longer allowed to be tucked away in a corner or under the surface.  And now it’s winter, which brings the least hospitable weather to most of the country, combined with the danger of sharing tight, indoor spaces, which has meant another round of stay-at-home orders for many areas.  

In light of all of this, it seems almost futile to try to beat the winter blues: can’t we just hibernate until there is a widely-available vaccine?  For those of you without young children – or those with special needs – you may certainly consider that option.  But I encourage everyone to try their best to maintain their mental and physical health this winter.

While you might typically have a touch of the aptly-named SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) – I know I do – the layers of challenges this year mean you should take extra care to not ignore your mental health.  As Michele Norris reminds us in the Michelle Obama podcast: “don’t reach for normal, reach for better.”

Stay Active

There is no question that staying active became a more personal pursuit in 2020.  When you strip away the fancy gym memberships, the huge road races, and many types of sports leagues and tournaments, you are left with your own body and your own space.  If you haven’t already, it’s time to make the most of it. 

Walk. Run. Replace the chain and fill the tires on your old bike.  With shorter – and colder – days, make this kind of activity your work-from-home lunch break. If the weather is really inhospitable, project classes on YouTube into your living room or bedroom.  Try resistance bands, jump ropes, or other space-saving, low-tech fitness equipment.  And find a way to keep yourself accountable.  For me, I have simply committed to doing *something* everyday.  A walk, a recorded workout, or outdoor fitness class.  And I’m looking forward to trying something new in 2021:  Zoom hula lessons.  

Stay Connected

When circumstances allow, you can stay connected while staying active – the best of both worlds.  Schedule a phone chat with a different friend each day, and each of you walk in your own neighborhood.  Zoom into fitness classes with a workout buddy, to increase accountability.  Or use shared fitness apps to cheer each other on remotely.  

But also maintain connections in other ways: rekindle phone relationships, schedule weekly or monthly Zoom check-ins, find a pen pal – or two – in your social circle.  Cook the same recipe in different homes and eat together.  Stage a multi-home family cookie decorating contest and let the Internet decide the winner.  And for local friends and family, don’t underestimate the magic that is the pandemic porch drop off: a loaf of pumpkin bread, a bouquet of flowers, a bottle of wine – or another little pick-me-up.  

How to Beat the Winter Blues: 5 Ways to Stay Sane While Staying In

Stay Motivated

As an autism mom, I am asked constantly how I manage to stay upbeat – even more so during this year of layered health and social crises.  There are really two answers to this.  One is simply that it is easier to manage life if you stay positive.  I have recently started listening to Bill Gates and Rashida Jones ask Big Questions, and I have learned that Bill Gates also maintains a strongly optimistic view. 

The second is grounded in my decades of experience living and working with those in much more challenging circumstances.  I have worked with thousands of teenagers over the years, and every one of them has a story.  

Some are battling cancer, others are battling the demons in their own minds.  Many of them are showing up for class despite a host of forces conspiring against them – “sleeping” in loud, shared spaces, working to support their families and then staying up later to do homework, food insecurity.  Others are bearing the weight of complex family dynamics, choosing unsafe habits – and substances – to numb the pain of divorcing parents, estranged siblings, or dying grandparents.  

In other words, life happens.  And in the end, you can play the cards you are dealt, or you can fold.  And while I tend to lose a LOT of card games, I’m certainly not choosing to walk away from my hand in life.  Autism is hard.  Severe autism can make you want to cry and laugh and scream all at once, but in the end, it is also what makes our life ours.  

Stay compassionate

The best way to not dwell on your own challenges? Focus on someone else’s.  There is no shortage of opportunity to do this now.  You can donate food, warm clothing, holiday gifts.  You can spend time making phone calls or writing postcards for causes that are important to you.  You can speak out and speak up to support anti-racist and anti-biased work.  And practicing and acknowledging gratitude actually can benefit you even more than those you are helping – a truly win-win situation.  

Stay comforted

Don’t underestimate the power of food – real food, the cooking, the eating, the sharing of time and space – to change your outlook.  Think lasagna, meatballs, or this tasty chickpea curry (highly recommend adding some chopped new potatoes).  More time at home means it’s easier to put something in your slow cooker or instapot and keep an eye on it.  Like these meltingly tender short ribs, served over some simply mashed potatoes.  

Instapot Short Ribs

What happens when you cook this recipe from Fine Cooking in the Instapot like Girl and the Kitchen suggests.
Print Recipe Pin Recipe
Prep Time 20 mins
Cook Time 50 mins
Total Time 1 hr 10 mins
Course Main Course
Cuisine American

Equipment

  • Mini Instant Pot

Ingredients
  

Ingredients

  • 1 Tbs. canola oil
  • 2 lb. small bone-in beef short ribs
  • 1 medium yellow onion chopped
  • 1-2 jalapeno or other chile
  • 2 medium cloves garlic quartered
  • 1 3- inch piece peeled fresh ginger thinly sliced
  • 1 tsp. dried thyme
  • 1/2 tsp. ground allspice
  • 1/4 tsp. freshly grated nutmeg
  • 1/2 cup lime marmalade (or other non-berry jam, such as peach, apricot, or orange)
  • 1 cup lower-salt chicken broth
  • 2 Tbs. soy sauce
  • 1 Tbs. white wine vinegar
  • 2 Tbs. finely chopped fresh basil leaves; plus small leaves for garnish optional
  • Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

Instructions
 

INSTRUCTIONS

  • Preheat the Mini-Instant Pot to the “Saute” option.
  • Season your short ribs with salt and pepper. Sear them in the Instant Pot for 7-8 minutes per side. Do this in batches, depending on the size of your short ribs.
  • In the meantime, chop the onion and chiles.
  • Remove seared meat to a plate to rest.
  • Check your pot, if you have a lot of more oil than about 1 tbsp (accumulated from the meathen pour it out.
  • Add the onion and cook, stirring often, until soft, about 3 minutes. Add the chiles, garlic, ginger, thyme, allspice, and nutmeg; stir until fragrant, about 1 minute. Add the marmalade and stir until melted.
  • Add the chicken broth and soy sauce, scraping the bottom of the pan to deglaze it.
  • Nestle the short ribs back into the liquid.
  • Seal the Instant Pot, ensuring that the venting switch is set on to the "Sealing" position. Press the "Stew" option and set the manual time to 50 minutes on high pressure.
  • Once the timer beeps, allow the Instant pot to go into the “Keep Warm” function for 15 minutes. Carefully, switch the venting tab to the “Venting” position and only once all the steam has been released go ahead and carefully remove the lid of the pot.
  • Using tongs, remove the meat from the Instant Pot, skim the sauce with a spoon concentrating on only removing the fat. Add the vinegar, and turn back onto the "Saute" option. Allow to boil until it has reached a glaze consistency.
  • Stir in the basil and cook for 1 minute to let the flavors meld. Season to taste with salt and pepper, pour the sauce over the short ribs, garnish with small basil leaves, if using, and serve.

Notes

Serve with rice, mashed potatoes, or crusty bread.  
Keyword instapot inspiration

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Lessons from 2020: 8 Ways to Reclaim your Life with an Abundance Mindset

What are the Lessons from 2020?

Life-changing.  Unprecedented.  Surreal. 

Those are some of my 2020 words. There are others that are a bit, um, stronger.

Some of the most poignant and powerful words of 2020 I’ve read come from Sonia Renee Taylor:

We will not go back to normal. Normal never was. Our pre-corona existence was not normal other we normalized greed, inequity, exhaustion, depletion, extraction, disconnection, confusion, rage, hoarding, hate and lack. We should not long to return, my friends. We are being given the opportunity to stitch a new garment. One that fits all of humanity and nature.

Sonia Renee Taylor

So in a year of medical crisis, and emotional turmoil, of civil unrest and educational upheaval, of a political reckoning and economic uncertainty I am trying my best to embrace her words among the lessons from 2020. Her “prescription,” I feel, is one of an abundance mindset – of inclusivity, of another spot at the table, of acceptance. Between grocery lines, sleepless nights and a relentless 24/7 news cycle, it be hard to maintain an abundance mindset. But we can – and we must.

In the Before Times- or the new “B.C.” (Before Covid) – I had a student I know well become distracted in an in-person conversation (oh how I miss those!).  Sitting in my office (I actually miss that too!), she was focusing just over my right shoulder on a pathetic looking plant- what had once been a beautiful orchid.  Now, maybe I’m reading too much into my memory of the scence, but it seemed as though her eyes were saying – this lady can’t keep a plant alive: What does that say about her ability with humans?

Lessons from 2020: 8 Ways to Reclaim your Life with an Abundance Mindset

To say I have difficulty successfully taking care of plants is an extreme understatement.  I confess, I’m actually a bit of a plant killer.  Just ask anyone with whom I’ve shared an apartment, home or classroom with over the years.  But the orchid was beautiful when it appeared as a birthday gift, and the memory of that beauty kept me from tossing the rather sad-looking stem.

After the student left, I dutifully watered the plant- for probably the first time in two months, and then forgot about it again. Until March.

On the eve of the state-wide Stay-At-Home orders, the last colleague I saw in real life generously brought me a few things from my office .  Letters.  Envelopes.  Hand sanitizer.  And that orchid.  

Quarantined at home for weeks, then months, the orchid became my project – a distraction. At first, I took more care with it than I did with my own health, sinking into a pattern of little exercise and quarantine baking that brought on the “quaran-ten.” But soon my habits rebounded – and my plant care paid off – and for months from spring into early summer the orchid bloomed.

Like many of you, I have struggled with adapting and adjusting to our new now- an ever-evolving time period that seems to change in length with each mandate and vaccine press release.  But like that orchid, we can recover from this rough spot, and the bloom will be all the much more appreciated knowing the challenges faced in the times before.

Here are some ideas to help you stitch YOUR new tapestry with lessons from 2020:

1. Focus on Family

However big or small your family is, try to savor your moments together. You may be weary of the same few faces, but try to find new ways to connect with those in your immediate bubble. As each season or holiday approaches, think about a safe, timely activity that your entire family can enjoy – jumping in leaves, hot chocolate by the fire, puddle splashing.

2. Recalibrate Commitments

March of 2020 brought a screeching halt to FOMO (the fear of missing out). Social calendars were wiped clean. The endless cycle of practices and games, rehearsals and performances, competitions and tournaments vanished overnight. As you and your family return to activities, think critically about what those are. Return only to what bring you joy, and leave the rest for others to enjoy.

Lessons from 2020: 8 Ways to Reclaim your Life with an Abundance Mindset

3. Reclaim Time

With everything less scheduled, the pace is slower. You can – and should – carve out time to exercise in a way that brings you fulfillment, not impending dread. You can – and should – reconsider the food you are putting into yourself and your family, thinking about where and how you can remove excess sugars and highly processed foods. You can – and should – allow your entire family unscheduled time. It is that time that breeds what, as children, we called “boredom,” but is, in fact, the root of much creativity.

4. Cultivate individual habits and projects

Within the near-constant togetherness of quarantine, creating a sense of individuality and independence is important. And while our world leading up to 2020 was one that seemingly valued activities and pursuits outside the home, that has all changed. There are so many old school hobbies that have a place in our new now: puzzle-making, knitting, sourdough bread making, gardening. If you focus on what is possible, rather than what was cancelled, you may be surprised to find that there is something you can do at home that does bring you fulfillment.

5. Celebrate simply

In March, it was inconceivable that my summer birthday would be in quarantine. But now it looks as though all of us will have a turn at a distanced celebration. The ideas are creative – car parades, Zoom speed “dating,” goodie bags being dropped off or mailed out.

But it doesn’t take a birthday to call for a celebration. Most weeks, making it to Friday warrants a toast. Thank goodness for the new world of cocktails to go, fine dining take out, and at-home wine tasting. And if you want to celebrate almost any other occasion, there continue to be more and more creative options – including Zoom paint nights, remote cooking classes, and digital scavenger hunts.

6. Connect with those who mean the most

I love to host. Whether it’s a handful of moms and a bottle of wine, or a large, catered birthday party, I enjoy sharing food and drink, space and time, with others. I started event-planning in college, before Pinterest was a thing. Which means my sense of hospitality is more about the connection and less about the color-coordinated decor (though I do love some good, safe decorations!). And while hosting certainly looks different in 2020, there are still opportunities to connect with others.

I was struck by the perspective of Priya Parker, a recent guest on Unlocking Us with Brene Brown. Author of The Art of Gathering (and fellow bicultural white-Indian American woman), Priya shares her mom questions that have guided her through these difficult times: What do you know how to do? What is the need? How can I help?

What a better place our world will be if everyone can focus on their own strengths and how to use those strengths to help others in need.

7. Appreciation for health, breath, and clear air

After five months of quarantine, the West Coast woke up in a cloud of smoke. While thousands evacuated, millions more were forced inside by poor air quality, not just for a day or two, but for close to a month. Meanwhile, hurricanes threatened both the East Coast and Hawai’i.

Nothing like a few natural disasters to help you appreciate the simple act of waking up and breathing clean air. Maybe as a result you drive less and walk or cycle more, welcoming your ability to be outdoors. Maybe you just appreciate your health that much more – something that 2020 already has shown us is more tenuous than we would like to think.

8. Just keep swimming

I am, by nature, a planner, and an optimist, someone who looks forward. I am also a traveler, someone who enjoys exploring new places and connecting with new people. 2020 has put me in my place, testing my ability to maintain these core aspects of my life while looking into a bleak, uncertain future, with severe travel restrictions. In the end, I have tried to persevere. And so can you.

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Compassion Fatigue Resources for Educators

Compassion Fatigue Resources for Educators

Do you need compassion fatigue resources?

As we wend our way to the end of 2020, it seems almost laughable that we thought we would be locked down for a “long spring break” in March.  Instead of waiting out what has, in the end, overtaken our lives this year, we have learned to live in it and through it – if not necessarily with it.  And while I am beyond grateful that my immediate family has been spared – thus far – from a Covid diagnosis, I am not immune to the widespread disruption.  No one is.  

While many educators are working remotely, staring at little black Zoom squares instead of engaging with students in classrooms, we are still frontline workers.  We may not be physically on the front lines, like our friends who work in health care, retail or food service, but we are on the social-emotional front lines of this crisis.  Which is why we are at risk for compassion fatigue.

Compassion Fatigue in 2020

We are reading private chat messages that bring us sadness and despair while trying to maintain composure in front of the group.  We are rethinking every aspect of our social-emotional learning curriculum and implementation – anything pre-pandemic seems woefully outmatched by our current circumstances.  We are connecting families pummeled by household-wide COVID diagnoses with as many resources as we can.  

And, one student and one family at a time, we are helping them pick up the pieces of 2020 and salvage a passing grade, as many credits as they can, and, to the best of our ability, a sense of hope for brighter days ahead.  

These are undoubtedly stressful times, and while some stress is important and a natural element in everyday life, being in a constant state of stress is not healthy. Brene Brown recently spoke on her podcast with Amelia and Emily Nagoski, authors of Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. I cannot recommend this podcast enough – especially this particular episode.

Some of the gems include: “self care requires a bubble of protection of other people who value your well-being at least as highly as you do.” Think about it – do you really have those people? If not, you need to find them.

Emily and Amelia implore us to “Lean on or lean with” others, not to “lean in or lean down.” That is where the support comes from, which is essential to helping combat compassion fatigue.

And “well-being is not a state it is an action;  it is not the gold at the end of the rainbow, it is the rainbow.” Which is why so much of what you should consider changing are small, little, everyday things. It is the cumulative effect of the proverbial “small stuff” that really can make a difference.

So here are some compassion fatigue resources to help you manage:

Set boundaries

If you are working at school, leave your work there.  If you are working remotely, then transition away from the space in your home you are working.  Create a physical change – and try very hard to not “go back” to work after you leave.  Because whatever it is, it will be there in the morning.  

Compassion Fatigue Resources for Educators

Use technology

Use Alexa or Google Home or Siri to remind you to get up, to eat, to move around.  Use FaceTime or Google Hangouts to have “lunch” with colleagues, family or friends.  Use schedule send to schedule follow up messages in the moment.  Use snooze or do not disturb to suppress your inbox at night and on the weekends.  And use Teachers Pay Teachers and other tools to support the creation of materials without having to do it all yourself.  

Decompress along the way

Self-care should not be a special activity – it should be automatic, not-to-be-skipped, not unlike brushing your teeth or washing your face.  Licensed Clinical Social Worker Rose Reif emphasizes this for special needs caregivers in this Lomah podcast episode, but her advice applies to most everyone in these trying times. 

Find ways to decompress and manage your physical and emotional well-being several times a day, not just every 3rd Saturday from 1-2 pm.  If you are working remotely, swap your commute for a walk or run.  Whether remote or in person, you have a prep period – or more than one- take advantage of that time.  

Know your reset buttons

Pay attention to what you can do that helps you “reset” most effectively, and take care to do so frequently.  Maybe it’s a quick walk, a fresh cup of tea, or a call to a friend or family member.  Maybe it’s a few minutes laughing at the Holderness family, or sharing memes on a group text. 

Or maybe it’s taking an entire day off – really off – with no grading, no planning, no school whatsoever – something too many of my friends and colleagues have not done since March.  Don’t underestimate the power of connecting with others – whether distanced or via technology – to help you feel more connected.

Create and support systems that bring change

While it is absolutely important to commiserate with those who understand the world in which you walk, it is even more important to work to change that world.  So you must channel some of your compassion fatigue resources into systemic change. Like so many other types of trauma, the effects of COVID-19 seem to be worse for those who already have a high number of ACES: Adverse Childhood Experiences.  

So as much as it can feel like you are “behind” in your curriculum, your students will likely be more primed to learn if you can help them turn the tide of harm caused by having a high number of ACES.  Physician, author, and current California Surgeon General Nadine Burke Harris has identified six areas that can support resilience in individuals with a history of many ACES.  These are: nutrition, exercise, sleep, mindfulness, maintaining healthy relationships and mental health and wellness.  

And while some of that may be considered “core content” in specific classes, such as PE, science and psychology, there is no reason you can’t embrace many, if not all, of these important areas no matter what you teach.  And if you are supporting these six areas for your students, you will hopefully focus on improving those areas for yourself as well – and that would be transformative education for us all.

What are your best compassion fatigue resources? Please share in the comments.

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2020 Silver Linings in Education

2020 Silver Linings in Education

Are there 2020 silver linings?

It depends on your perspective. It is easy to focus on the challenges – the illness and death, the social inequities, the digital divide highlighted by a nation forced into remote education. But if you look more closely at 2020, there are some silver linings, many of them in education.

After more than two decades in public education, one of my greatest challenges is convincing students and families that wellness and overall well-being is not an extra, but that it is core to any sort of academic progress. Unfortunately, it is these ideas that students and families are most likely to listen to with a sense of “that’s for everyone else, not me.”   And while a segment of our society is hyper-focused on bringing kids on campus in medically questionable situations to “address their mental health issues,” I think all of us would be better off to focus on the 2020 silver linings first.

Embracing Carol Dweck’s concept of growth mindset has proven to improve student outcomes, yet parents and kids alike complain about not being smart enough, not about how hard they are working.  Frank Bruni, in Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be, tells you that successful adults basically never have linear life pathways, yet parents insist on helicoptering – or now snow-plowing – their kids from preschool to the workplace. 

And Laurie Santos, the Yale professor who actually teaches happiness, is not the only voice reminding you that sufficient sleep, regular exercise, and mindfulness will improve your overall well-being much more than any material items – including college bumper stickers.  

2020 Silver Linings for students and families:

Yet student after student, parent after parent assume that these experts are mistaken.  Or that their advice is great for others, but not for their kid or their family.  But as in so many other arenas, 2020 had other plans for you. And if you open your eyes, you’ll see these 2020 silver linings for yourself.

You have your time back:

By necessity, 2020 was less scheduled for most families than any of the previous ones.  The pandemic brought to a screeching halt what has been called the “extracurricular Olympics.”  The race to be president or captain of everything is impossible when nearly everything is on hold.  This summer, there were basically no pricey, flimsy “internships” or “summer programs.”  Instead, there was a shift to more grassroots – and arguably more meaningful – activities.  

Hand-sewing masks, food distribution to those in need (beyond the typical “holiday” drives), and neighborhood PE pods and garage camps.  Creatively supporting the most at-risk members of our society with Zoom concerts, porch gifts, and FaceTiming.  And as we move towards an eventual future of living with this virus, it is my hope that children and teens will return only to those clubs, teams, and activities that bring them joy and fulfillment, and not those that serve only to lengthen their resumes or please their parents.  

You are testing less:

By design, all standardized tests capture a moment in time.  Whether a state-mandated test, an AP exam or the SAT, a test measures not just what you know, but where you are, what you ate – or didn’t eat, how you slept- or didn’t sleep, and how much or little negative stress you are managing at the time.  These circumstances have worsened for most of the country, with a disproportionate effect on those who were already being disenfranchised by the tests: students of color, those with learning disabilities or mental health challenges, and those from schools who did offer extensive test prep. 

You can redraw your social map:

Researcher Brene Brown draws a distinction between – fitting in, as in contorting yourself to fit in a specific social space, and belonging, as in come as you are, you are welcomed here.  Without the “noise” of typical school social scenes, kids are connecting and doubling down on relationships with those who are “their people.”  I have also heard from a surprising number of tweens and teens that the stress of not having to micromanage every inch of their physical appearance is a major win in Zoomland.  

2020 Silver Linings in Education

You can focus on what’s really important:

Author Madeline Levine’s new book, Ready or Not, outlines key areas for individuals who are preparing to launch themselves, and with all due respect to my colleagues, it is not the ACTUAL verb tenses, sine and cosines, and scientific reactions that will serve our students.  Rather it is the ability to access information, connect with others, and adapt to a changing world.  Levine specifically highlights digital literacy, data analysis, critical thinking and perseverance as key traits.  Can you learn these in math or English or science class?  Absolutely.  And you can reinforce them in many other aspects of your life as well.  

You have lots of right answers:

Post-secondary planning is another area where teens experience a lot of conflicting points of view.  Contrary to the popular narrative, there is not a single “right answer” in the college search. In fact, if created thoughtfully, a student’s entire application list will be filled with potential “right answers.” I typically frame this as a situation in which I want all students to make a conscious choice about their plans in the spring of their senior year. 

In some cases, that means broadening the selectivity of your list because you want to have choices in April not let all the choices be made by admission committees in December and March.  In other cases, it means researching options so students can choose a community college that is a fit for them (fit is not only the domain of four-year colleges and universities – community colleges also offer a wide variety of programs, services, supports and even school calendars.) 

And as Jeff Selingo so clearly puts it in his new book Who Gets in and Why?,  why does it matter whether you get into the club if you hate the music playing inside?  Apply that ethos to your college search and you will arrive at a much better fit for your life.  And your bumper will learn to live with whatever that sticker says.  

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Holidays 2020: Smaller, Quieter, Distanced, Still Festive and Special

Holidays 2020: Smaller, Quieter, Distanced, Still Festive and Special

Celebrating the Holidays 2020-Style

Celebrating the holidays 2020-style will likely mean that they are smaller, quieter, and distanced. But you can celebrate and mark these festive occasions – and you may even find yourself creating some new traditions.

Uncrowded Shopping

Start by skipping the mall and shopping with small, local businesses, or online.  Not only is parking easier (or not necessary!) but the shopping environment should be less crowded.  Or do the best of both worlds, and shop with small businesses online – like in our Fall Boutique.  

Come shop our Fall Boutique online!

Why You Should Keep Doing This: Shopping small is important year-round, so support the businesses that sponsor your kids’ sports teams, and fundraise for neighbors in distress.

Easy to Mail Gifts

Think about items that can be shipped safely and easily – and without damage.  As tasty as chocolate candy can be, it doesn’t always ship well.  And be sure any glass items are being wrapped well to avoid them being shattered.  Flat, non-perishable items are ideal, like a set or two of Color Street – or more ideas on this list from The Big White Farmhouse.  

Why You Should Keep Doing This: Sending a small, thoughtful gift is easier than you think, and more special for your recipient than just another mass-produced holiday card.

Holidays 2020: Smaller, Quieter, Distanced, Still Festive and Special

The Guest List

In the end, you will connect with those who are likely physically closest to – probably those already in your bubble, or you will make careful choices about who to include. Silver lining: this is probably not the year where you will be a stuck at a long table with a drunk uncle or your least-favorite cousin.

Why You Should Keep Doing This: You should try to take the obligation out of your guest lists going forward. Life is short – celebrate with those who bring you joy.

Head outside – if you can

In parts of the country where weather permits, plan to eat and celebrate outside if you will be merging “bubbles” for any celebrations. Think about heat lamps, fire pits, and other supports to make this possible. Aim for midday, avoiding the chillier hours when the sun is setting.

Why You Should Keep Doing This: If you’re celebrating outside, then you can keep the chef company while they smoke or barbecue a turkey or ham. Or consider adding toasted marshmallows to your dessert menu.

Share recipes

Rethink your 2020 holiday meals – and cook smaller quantities of just what you like at home.  Will you miss your aunt’s stuffing or your cousin’s pie?  Then do a pre-holiday recipe swap to ensure everyone gets to enjoy their favorites, even if everyone is not all together.  

Why You Should Keep Doing This: Often times we don’t think to ask for these recipes until it’s too late, and memories are failing or the originator has passed away. Recipes are a part of your family history – you could even make a cookbook with them.

Holidays 2020: Smaller, Quieter, Distanced, Still Festive and Special

Reminisce – or make new memories

Rather than just a holidays 2020 zoom with everyone saying “hi” from their little square, consider screen sharing videos or slideshows of holidays gone by.  Or even just those favorite “first steps” and other milestone bits of media that no one except the family wants to see anyway.  

If a watch party’s not your thing? Consider an online game like Code Names or one from Jackbox.  Or this online scavenger hunt for all ages and group sizes:

Why You Should Keep Doing This: Even after we have big family meals again safely, there are always individuals for whom the day or evening runs too long (typically the very young, the very old and/or those with sensory challenges). By including an online option to continue the celebration, parents can tuck littles in bed and join in, or someone can drop off your great aunt at her place and not miss out on the fun.

Plan for next year – in person

Set aside some time to plan for next year’s celebration – ideally it will be in person.  If we have learned nothing else in 2020, we have learned to appreciate precious moments spent in real life with both our biological and chosen families.  So put some thought in how best to connect and include everyone.  

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I am a career educator, #autismmom and Color Street Independent Stylist. I help women refresh their style, their lives and themselves. Thanks for joining me here. Read More…

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